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I came back to Nagoya today!
Every time I come back here, I get to think anew about many things.
It’s not like I realized this only recently,
but I came to think that there are things that
don’t get conveyed unless you put them into words.
I do not think it’s a mistake to feel like
conveying through one’s back, demonstrating through one’s actions.
However, at time such behavior might
end up leading in negative directions.
Yet the same time I feel like,
if I were to put my feelings into words,
they might come out as lies.
I don’t know what to do.
But anyway, I hate to cut corners.
Which is why I dashed non stop up to this point.
Watching me like that, many kindly told me things such
"Do take some time to breath, once in a while"
That might actually be the right thing to do.
Forgetting to take a breath ended up leading me to collapsing…
Sure it’s obvious to work as hard as one can, but still…
…you all taught me how it’s not okay if that ends up
causing problems to others.
However there are so many people
saying they love the me constantly giving her best…
So if I were to stop being like that,
maybe that would mean to stop being my own self…
SKE = Always with all one’s might!
I absolutely didn’t want to destroy this image.
There are members looking at my back,
there are girls who joined out of admiration for me.
As long as there will be at least one of such members,
I can’t afford to cut corners, no matter what.
That’s what I think.
I joined when I was in my 6th year of grade school,
so with me I guess comes a young, energetic
and reckless image.
I’d like to stay like that forever,
but now that I’m in my 3rd year of high school,
after 6 long years, I can’t just stay unchanged.
Of course I mean this in a good way!
My expressivity is changing,
my way of dancing is changing as well.
For example, take songs that sound cheerful
but that have sad lyrics…
I can’t sing them keeping a smile the whole time, right?
And I might try to dance mature songs in a more flexible way.
Currently I perform while thinking a lot.
Please pay attention that it’s absolutely
not like I’m losing motivation or something!
When I’m with members, I do nothing but talk about SKE.
Especially when I’m with Masana (even today);
no matter if we’re in a private circumstance,
as soon as we notice it, we’re already talking about SKE!
My feelings about SKE hasn’t changed, not ever since that time.
And those who raised us to be
the same until now…
…are you, the fans,
it’s AKB, as a presence,
it’s Nakanishi, who came from AKB,
it’s Neesan, that always supported us as the eldest,
it’s the staff,
it’s been the help of so, so many people, the help of you all.
And that is unchanged.
I want for the people who came to like the group recently,
and for the members that are going to join in the future,
to get to know this.
There’s nothing we can do just on our own.
We can work because of everyone’s presence,
because we’re in an environment in which we can all help each other.
That might sound granted or obvious, but it’s not.
The feelings of gratitude.
The feelings of working hard for someone.
SKE48 taught them to me.
I’ve never regret joining SKE48.
And I didn’t want to regret not having conveyed these feelings,
not having put them into words…
…so now I took my chance to write them down here.
I’m going to keep moving forward.
And as a 1st generation member, I’m going to lead the group.
Please take care of me.